I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So. Much. Porn.
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