I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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