I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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