doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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