Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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