Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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