its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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