i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
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i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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