I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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