well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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