where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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