Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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