what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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