What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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