I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I seem to have left my pride at pride
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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