These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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