Dual....:-)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize