Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize