Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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