So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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