I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I pour the whiskey from now on
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