I think i peed on brittanys purse
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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