I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize