He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize