I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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