We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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