Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just threw up on my dentist
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize