flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize