oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
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He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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