i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize