Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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