Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.

  (415): View more from California

  be there in 3 mins

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit. (415): be there in 3 mins http://tfl.nu/00q0
  Replies (26) Good night (3393) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder. http://tfl.nu/f12p
  Replies (21) Good night (9319) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home http://tfl.nu/u8cd
  Replies (8) Good night (2988) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/83jv
  Replies (16) Good night (6194) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on... http://tfl.nu/x8fm
  Replies (7) Good night (2441) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well. (1-520): Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand. http://tfl.nu/cdsz
  Replies (1) Good night (1887) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails http://tfl.nu/p7in
  Replies (12) Good night (3282) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come. http://tfl.nu/lijh
  Replies (4) Good night (1636) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee. http://tfl.nu/wutx
  Replies (7) Good night (1606) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone... http://tfl.nu/fbxy
  Replies (8) Good night (714) Bad night (2260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises http://tfl.nu/ccm4
  Replies (4) Good night (1533) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nobody in the ambulance liked me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Nobody in the ambulance liked me... http://tfl.nu/5rji
  Replies (11) Good night (668) Bad night (1530) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu. http://tfl.nu/j0iq
  Replies (8) Good night (637) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present. http://tfl.nu/s10t
  Replies (4) Good night (1419) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (463): View more from

  I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (463): I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file. http://tfl.nu/era2
  Replies (8) Good night (534) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt

Randomize