Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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