i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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