Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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