He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
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He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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