speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize