i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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