Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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