Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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