I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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