I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you never un-have a 4some
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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