She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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