The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize