so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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