A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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