there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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