I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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