What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize