Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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