You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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